Ah, Steam Sales. That glorious time when we convince ourselves that buying 15 games we’ll never play is a sound financial decision. Valve has now revealed the full list of themed sales for 2025, and it’s looking like another year of impulse buying, backlog hoarding, and pretending we have the time to actually play these.

So, get your wishlist ready, because here’s every Steam sale you’ll be ignoring until the final 24 hours when panic-buying sets in:

• Real-Time Strategy Fest (20 – 27 January) – Command & conquer your savings into oblivion.
• Idler Fest (3 – 10 February) – Perfect for those who like games that play themselves while they “work.”
• Couch Co-Op Fest (10 – 17 February) – A reminder that gaming with friends can be fun… until someone forgets how to press ‘start.’
• Steam Next Fest – February Edition (24 February – 3 March) – A buffet of free demos you’ll download but never launch.
• Visual Novel Fest (3 – 10 March) – Prepare for excessive reading and even more excessive emotional damage.
• Steam Spring Sale (13 – 20 March) – The first major sale of the year. Say goodbye to your wallet.
• City Builder & Colony Sim Fest (24 – 31 March) – The festival of “just one more turn before bed” at 3 AM.
• Sokoban Fest (21 – 28 April) – Pushing boxes has never been this exciting.
• Wargames Fest (28 April – 5 May) – For those who want strategy, tactics, and an existential crisis.
• Creature Collector Fest (12 – 19 May) – a.k.a. ‘Pokémon but legally distinct’ week.
• Zombies vs. Vampires Fest (26 May – 2 June) – Because nothing screams “genre fatigue” like yet another undead showdown.
• Steam Next Fest – June Edition (9 – 16 June) – More demos. More decisions. Still no time.
• Fishing Fest (16 – 23 June) – Surprisingly calming… until you lose a rare catch.
• Steam Summer Sale (26 June – 10 July) – The biggest sale of the year. You will spend money. Accept it.
• Automation Fest (14 – 21 July) – Games about making things… so you can play more games.
• Racing Fest (28 July – 4 August) – Time to live out your Fast & Furious dreams.
• 4X Fest (11 – 18 August) – Expand, Exploit, Exterminate your free time.
• Third Person Shooter Fest (25 August – 1 September) – A week of tactical cover-shooting and unnecessary dodge rolls.
• Political Sim Fest (8 – 15 September) – Because arguing with strangers on the internet wasn’t enough.
• Steam Autumn Sale (29 September – 6 October) – A fresh batch of regretful purchases.
• Steam Next Fest – October Edition (13 – 20 October) – Another round of demos you won’t finish.
• Steam Scream 4 (27 October – 3 November) – Horror games, because you clearly haven’t suffered enough.
• Animal Fest (10 – 17 November) – You didn’t pet the dog? Uninstall immediately.
• Sports Fest (8 – 15 December) – Time to pretend you understand football tactics.
• Steam Winter Sale (18 December – 5 January) – The grand finale. The reason your credit card company calls to check if you’re okay.

If your New Year’s resolution was to be responsible with money, 2025 is already looking like a disaster. But hey, what’s another game added to the backlog, right?