The late ‘80s—when Japan’s economy was booming, suits were loud, and punching someone in the face counted as business negotiation. And it’s in this chaos of neon signs and shoulder pads that Yakuza 0 sets its stage once again, this time strutting onto the Nintendo Switch 2 as a launch title. Yes, Yakuza 0: Director’s Cut is real, and it’s about to make your handheld experience a lot more… dramatic.

But don’t let the term “Director’s Cut” fool you. This isn’t some artsy re-edit with deleted scenes and a moody filter. This is a straight-up crime opera drenched in absurdity, street brawling, and the kind of minigames that make you question your life choices—in the best way possible.

It All Started With a Tiny Patch of Dirt

Tokyo, December 1988. Kamurocho is booming with money, vice, and suspiciously well-dressed men ready to clobber each other over property disputes. At the heart of the chaos? A plot of land so small, it could barely fit a food truck. Yet, this so-called “Empty Lot” becomes the most hotly contested piece of real estate in the city, throwing multiple crime syndicates into an all-out war.

Enter Kazuma Kiryu and Goro Majima—two up-and-coming legends on opposite ends of the yakuza spectrum. One’s a stoic punching machine with a moral compass, the other’s an unhinged one-eyed disco tornado. Together, they navigate this web of corruption, betrayal, and bad haircuts to forge their own legacies.

Combat That Punches Above Its Weight

Forget swords and shields—Yakuza 0 is all about knocking heads with your bare hands… and maybe a traffic cone or two. Kiryu and Majima each come equipped with three wildly different fighting styles. Want to crush skulls with brute force? Pick Beast. Fancy a bit of Capoeira madness? Try Breaker. Feeling flashy? Go Slugger and bring out the baseball bat.

And yes, money is your experience bar. The more yen you earn (and throw around like confetti), the more powerful and ridiculous your moves become. In 1988 Japan, capitalism isn’t just a system—it’s a weapon.

Minigames, Mayhem & Phone-Flirting

But fighting’s only half the fun. When you’re not busy slapping yakuza around, you’re indulging in the excesses of Japan’s bubble economy. Ever wanted to win a date by sweet-talking a woman over a payphone? Or bust a move at the disco like you’re auditioning for Saturday Night Fever? Yakuza 0 has got you covered.

You can blow off steam with bowling, darts, pool, and mahjong. Or go deep into side content with karaoke, fishing, underground catfights (yes, that’s a thing), and even miniature car racing. All set in vibrant entertainment districts that feel alive with sleaze, neon, and sheer lunacy.

And if that’s not enough, you can get sidetracked by over 100 side quests, most of which start with something mundane and end with something absolutely bonkers. This is a game where helping a kid buy a game can lead to a street brawl, and escorting a dominatrix helps her improve her customer service skills.

The Verdict? Absolutely Mental—in the Best Way

Yakuza 0 Director’s Cut on Switch 2 isn’t just a re-release; it’s a portable window into a time when everything was either illegal, immoral, or obscenely entertaining. It’s a brawler, a soap opera, a dating sim, a real estate tycoon game, and a retro nightlife simulator—all rolled into one absurdly addictive package.

And now you can play it on the train, in bed, or while hiding from responsibilities. Just be prepared to explain why your character is screaming into a telephone or suplexing a thug next to a Don Quijote.

This isn’t just a game. It’s a fever dream wrapped in a pinstripe suit.