The new Masters of the Universe live-action movie, based on the Mattel toy line of fantasy action figures for male children and manchild collectors, is clearly aimed at a sizeable demographic. Teens, parents who saw the 80s cartoon in its unabashed glory and innuendoes, those same parents with kids of their own who don’t mind a bit of swearing in their fantasy action films.

Masters of the Universe (2026) is the equivalent of director Travis Knight (Bumblebee, Kubo and the Two Strings) lining up metaphorical Mattel He-Man toys and have them fight each other while having some semblance of a narrative going on in-between breaks. And given the fact that this film could have just been made with less effort for more returns of investment, I applaud this toy commercial-masquerading-as-a-film for going full steam with its effects, worldbuilding, zany characters, and cartoon ambience.

“I could write a book about what you don’t know!”

Young child prince Adam (Artis Wilkinson-Hunt) lives in the kingdom of Eternia with his father and mother of royalty, helped out by Man-At-Arms Duncan (Idris Elba) who manages the army and defenses. Said kingdom was destroyed by Skeletor (voiced by Jared Leto) and his monster army, seeking the power of Grayskull that’s supposedly in the depths of the castle. As a last-ditch effort, the white bird-claded Sorceress (Morena Baccarin) whisks Adam and the Sword of Power away to Earth. Fast forward 15 years later without any montage or extra explanation of sorts, we have an adult Adam (Nicholas Galitzine) working a 9-to-5 in human resources and living in an apartment with a flatmate, still talking about the fantasy kingdom we was from but clearly sounding like an unhinged person.

Before you think this film is going to subvert your expectations by being a fantasy-in-someone’s-head type of psychological story, Eternian heroine Teela (Camila “Veronica Lodge” Mendes) rescues Adam from an assault from villain Beast Man, who got the ping courtesy of Adam finding the Sword of Power. We waste no time as Teela and Adam goes back to Eternia to rescue what’s left of the kingdom from Skeletor and his bony grasps. It’s a cartoon-style plot where you know how things will go, with segments where Adam uses his real-life managerial skills to bring the heroes together after a second act crisis, right down to the chase sequences and action that loves its CGI to death.

While Galitzine and Mendes dish out adequate levels of camaraderie as Adam and Teela, with Elba’s Man-At-Arms playing the role of father figure who had a bit of a slump after an ego-shattering loss, props should go to Jared Leto who is having the time of his life voicing the evil-for-theatrics-sake Skeletor. Every time he shows up, it’s usually for part evil plans-developing, part comedy, and part pushing around his hired help like Evil-Lyn (Alison Brie in her hammiest role yet since GLOW), and iconic MOTU monsters like Beast Man, Triclops, and Trap-Jaw. Some of his scenes with Adam involving some form of mind-f***ery are noteworthy bits, but overall you’re given a villain that captivates you with what he has in store, even if you know he’s going to get his comeuppance. Kristen Wiig’s voiceover as giant mecha Roboto also deserves some comedic applause for her banter with the team, though she does get shafted in favour of Adam, Teela, and Man-At-Arms screentime and introspective bits.

Speaking of iconic, there are a ton of easter eggs for fans of the 80s show and its spin-offs, and the toy line as well. But you already knew that going in after seeing the Mattel logo popping up before the film starts.

“Dolts! Halfwits! Brainless idiots…”

Masters of the Universe is content on being the proverbial blonde who just wants to have fun and be the life of the party, obnoxiousness be damned. It’s bright, it’s loud, it’s subtle as a sledgehammer, and throws a lot at you including the kitchen sink with some semblance of rhyme or reason.

But at the same time, it knows it’s having fun doing so and isn’t shy at taking shots at itself with its unintentional innuendoes, dumb toy names, and adhere to its fantastical sci-fi hybrid nature that doesn’t make sense half the time. There are plot holes, but you’re not here for a deep narrative study. You just want to see guys named Mekanek beat the crap out of bad guys with his extended appendage while explosions are on-screen, or watch a guy with a skull for a face ham it up with the villainy and his dastardly force lightning spells. The source material isn’t the most riveting, so at the very least, this adaptation gets an A+ for effort.

Final Score: 60/100