Treasure Planet

What Is It? It’s Treasure Island but sci-fi.

Why It Needs Remaking? The film’s premise is promising and unique, and its core narrative concerning Jim Hawkins and Long John Silver’s relationship is the best part of the film. Everything else though? It’s trying too hard to be cool, edgey, and appealing that it falls kinda flat. Its mixture of 2D and 3D is mixed at best, with the 2D parts kinda standing out in retrospect. Plus the shoved-in pop-rock soundtrack from The Goo Goo Dolls’ lead singer didn’t help as it was Disney clearly trying to emulate Dreamworks’ way of doing animation.

A live-action remake of this film, complete with more fleshing out of side characters like Doctor Doppler and Captain Amelia, would work well in making the show a bit livelier. Think of it as a way to follow-up on Pirates of the Caribbean’s pirate tale but with a fresh new sci-fi coat of paint and today’s CG conveniences. Just don’t shoehorn in a Captain Jack Sparrow weird pirate guy and we’ll be fine. The cast from the original, with some more spit and shine, already work well with one another.

Okay, maybe axe off the Martin Short robot and replace it with one automaton voiced by Ramy Youssef or something.

If we may be so bold, assuming Disney is ballsy enough to remake this film, may we suggest a sequel? There’s a script of that floating around somewhere that deals with Jim Hawkins’ adventure in the Royal Interstellar Academy. You can read up on it here. Get Gore Verbinski and Jerry Bruckheimer on-board this ship; they’re probably the only ones who can make a pirate movie work, even one with sci-fi trappings.

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