Originally published on 7 July. This feature is brought forward in lieu of the film’s release on Disney+.

Thor: Love and Thunder is out now in most countries, and it’s a really fun film to watch. It balances comedy and character development just fine while still maintaining the Marvel comic book movie fun runtime it’s set out on doing, as well as features some heavy development in the MCU canon.

This being a rundown of the fourth Thor movie’s plot and surprises, there will be a ton of spoilers. So here’s your warning.

Disclaimer: For our Malaysian viewers & readers, I highly suggest you don’t look further on if you want to preserve the movie experience. We can answer the following question though:

As A Malaysian Viewer, Should I Hold Off From Spoilers?

Yes, you should. It’s a really fun film to experience and watch. Avoid the internet and temporarily unfollow your movie/comic book websites temporarily until the show’s release date of 21st July. Drop by Singapore to watch it if you have to.

How Does The Movie Start?

With the reason why Christian Bale’s character Gorr is killing gods in the trailers you see online. See, his own god has forsaken him when his own village and daughter died from a calamity of sorts. He tried to ask for aid, but his own god just laughed him off and said that humans and lowly beings are meant to serve gods for their amusement. He’s clearly irked by this and lashes out, but said god is about to strangle the mortality out of him. Then a nearby legendary relic called the Necrosword comes to Gorr’s aid, and he thus smote the asshole god by beheading him. Now cursed with shadow powers, he vows to kill all gods. Of course, his vengeance is the driving force for the Necrosword to work its insidious shadow magic onto him.

So the Guardians of the Galaxy are in this?

Yeah, but only for the first 30 minutes or so. Thor (Chris Hemsworth in his best role yet) teams up with them, they’re not a fan of him being around due to his aimlessness, and they do their best to avoid working with him by offering to split up and help the people being assailed by Gorr the God Butcher. Of course, their beef with him has a lot to do with the fact that he’s the one-man army who helped them with a recent mission to liberate a planet full of blue people from bird-like aliens who look like they came out from Jim Henson’s Labyrinth. The movie also displays its love for Guns n’ Roses with the track “Welcome To The Jungle” playing here.

Thor’s combat skills and deft lightning-based wielding of his trusty axe Stormbreaker led to him being victorious, but also causing collateral damage to the blue people’s sacred holy temple; the one thing he was supposed to protect. As a gesture of appreciation(?), the blue folks gave Thor and his rock buddy Korg (Taika Waititi) a pair of space goats which are loud as hell. Their bleats are basically comical human screams; the movie uses this as a recurring gag because Taika Waititi loves this sort of nonsense. It does pay off, because Korg has to use a special whistle to have the goats get them out in a jam courtesy of a future Thor Classic Adventure which we’ll get to in a bit.

So What’s Up With Jane?

It’s been established early on, barely 30 minutes into the film, that she has stage 4 cancer. Her bit has some exposition delivered courtesy of that Two Broke Girls’ Kat Dennings playing her former science assistant-now-S.W.O.R.D. operative Darcy. There’s also a bit of story-telling about Thor and Jane being together in a serious relationship between Thor 2: The Dark World and Thor: Ragnarok. They broke up on bad terms; Thor has his Avengers stuff while Jane has her science stuff. Jane basically buried herself in her award-winning science work. Classic romance stuff, basically.

How Is Jane Going To Solve Her Cancer Conundrum?

She plans on using Mjolnir, which happens to be on display at New Asgard. She blends in as a tourist, then somehow activates the hammer, making her the new Thor.

There’s also a bit in the flashbacks that Thor, while dating Jane, asked Mjolnir to protect her. Basically it’s the writer’s way to explain why the hammer is so prone to helping Jane out. Then again, magic in any movie (comic book movies, or anything) can make easy plot links in scripts and stories for any medium. It works in Thor’s case because magic has been a thing in the MCU since the first Thor and Doctor Strange movie.

Surely There Must Be A Catch, Right?

Indeed there is. Turns out that while Mjolnir will make Jane Foster buff and tough, when she’s out of Thor form, she drastically weakens to the point where her actual body cannot fight the cancer. This being a Hollywood film, she just looks like a slightly-worse version of herself (eyebags and dirt) rather than having her hair wither out or being super-skinny. Still, it’s a distinct difference and doesn’t distract from the viewing experience.

So How Is Gorr’s Story Interweaved With Thor’s?

Well, Gorr suspects that he’s in New Asgard, or at least someone resembling godhood. So he goes there, summon his shadow creatures, and kidnaps the children living there. Thor, King Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson in her most non-subtle lesbian butch role yet), and Jane Foster Thor jump in to fight off Gorr, but failed. So the trio and Korg plus the noisy space goats head off to get aid from other gods in a secret god planet to get help, and then to Shadow Realm where the kids are taken.

It should be noted that one of the kids, Axl (Kieron L.Dyer), is the son of the late Heimdall. Which means he can use the magic vision communication thing with Thor to relay status updates and whereabouts. Of course, Gorr knows this and lets Thor give them some shred of hope. You’ll find out later why.

Oh, and Sif? She lost her arm during one of Gorr’s rampages in a distant planet, but she was rescued by Thor, who then teleported her to New Asgard for medical care.

A Secret God Planet, You Say?

The name escapes us, but it’s a play on “omnipotence”. Generally it’s a secret congregation spot where all the gods gather and party, with God of Lightning Zeus being the de facto leader. There are also a bunch of gods too ranging from a Mayan God to even Bao, God of Dumpings, whom we’re very sure will be screencapped and meme’d for the internet later this week when the film is out.

Did It Work?

Sadly, no. Thor’s plea to rally all gods to help him was rejected by Zeus because Zeus is a stereotypical pompous god who rather have orgies than to do serious god things. So they got in a tussle, with Thor actually murdering Zeus with his own lightning. Also, Thor gets Zeus’ lightning bolt weapon, which will help him out.

Why Didn’t He Use Stormbreaker In This Fight?

Because it’s being used as a way to open a Bifrost road to lead the party to the Shadow Realm and to the god planet. Earlier in New Asgard, Thor tried to teleport his way to the Shadow Realm using the Stormbreaker’s Bifrost abilities, but it’s unstable. So he used it as a navigator and is attached to a New Asgard tour boat, with the noisy space goats as its backup steeds.

So Plan Failed. Now What?

The trio decide to press on and use Zeus’ lightning bolt as a new weapon to deal with Gorr. Before the fated Shadow Realm battle, Thor and Jane had a moment and kissed with the latter telling him about the cancer.

Valkyrie and Korg have a karaoke session, with Valkyrie telling Korg about her past failed lesbian relationships.

Was The Movie Delayed In Malaysia Because Of Valkyrie’s Lifestyle Choices?

Honestly, your guess is as good as ours. From what we’ve seen, there is a bit of sexual tension and possible gay vibes between Valkyrie and Jane when they talk, and Valkyrie did kiss the hand of one of Zeus’ whores, implying that she really wants to see if her carpet matches her drapes. It’s pretty tame if we’re being honest.

Speaking of lifestyle choices, it turns out that Korg is gay. Seems like his race is all male and they procreate by holding hands near a lava pit and magically spawn a baby rock being. Magic!

Did The Team Manage To Defeat Gorr?

Hell no. After entering the greyscaled Shadow Realm (it’s a damn cool effect, by the by), the trio finds out that…

Gorr actually wanted the Stormbreaker to help him cross to the realm of Eternity, so that he can get his wish granted: to kill all gods. So after a major story fight, Valkyrie is critically injured and the team is overwhelmed by shadow creatures. They run off but not without Gorr stealing Stormbreaker at the last minute.

Wait, THAT Eternity?

Yes, that Eternity.

Eternity makes its appearance in the MCU, sans the face and more of the silhouette with the cool cosmic effect. In the MCU, they are a being that can grant wishes assuming its visitors know how to get to them. Gorr’s main idea is to use Stormbreaker’s Bifrost powers to head there and get his god-killing wish sorted.

The Party Is Back At New Asgard. Now What?

Thor will have to head off alone with Zeus’ weapon, which somehow has the ability to use Bifrost teleportation well. Jane wants to tag along, but Thor insists and begs she stays because Mjolnir is killing her real body every time she uses it. Of course, it’s her choice.

So off Thor goes. He heads to the gateway of the Hall of Eternity, manages to rescue the children, and fights off Gorr and his shadow creatures. We should mention that Thor temporarily gives the kids lighting powers to combat the shadow creatures, resulting in a pretty hilarious fight of the children winning against the monsters they were afraid of, to the second half of the Guns N’ Roses hit song “November Rain”. It’s epic stuff.

Thor proceeds to fight Gorr, but he’s overpowered because of shadow powers and the Necrosword being powerful over time and stuff. In comes in Jane in Thor form, says the line “I’m Mighty Thor”, and the both of them whoop Gorr’s ass. They ended up in Eternity’s presence eventually, which is a white space of nothing where Eternity is chilling.

So The Bad Guy Won And Made His Wish?

Technically, yeah. In an expected but logical twist, Gorr had a change of heart about his wish after hearing about Thor’s lament about staying with the ones he love. As Jane is close to death after using Mjolnir one last time, he chooses to be with her in her final moments, concluding the storyline arc that’s been peppered around for the past few Thor films. Gorr has flashbacks of being with his daughter in her last days, and decides to instead trade his cursed life so that his daughter can be reborn.

Jane ends up dying in the end, dissipating in gold spirit glitter. Thor makes a promise to Gorr to take care of his new Eternity-powered kid to showcase that not all gods are terrible assholes and self-serving dicks. Albeit he has to take care of a kid with some demon powers, but them’s the break if you’re trying to find a purpose in life: in Thor’s case, it’s being a loving dad in the end. Makes sense, given how he started off in the first Thor movie as an actual spoiled kid, who grows and matures to a person who now has his own family.

So what lessons can we learn from Thor: Love and Thunder?

Love conquers all? As if the show’s title isn’t on-the-nose enough.

Have your movie title have a sort of double meaning to it. See, Love and Thunder isn’t just about Thor and Jane, it’s about Thor and his new Eternity-laced kid nicknamed Love.

Oh, and always add a clause before you hand out your lightning powers to children. And one good way to get your tourist sector booming in your new town is to have re-enactments of Thor’s classic adventures in stage play form using Matt Damon as Loki, the other Hemsworth brother as Thor, Sam Neill as Odin, and Melissa McCarthy as Hela.

Let’s Talk About The Scenes After The Movie. There’s At Least One, Right?

Oh, you mean the mid-credits scene? Sure!

Zeus somehow is still alive even after taking a lightning bolt through a chest. He talks to someone who is off-screen about making people fear gods again. Camera cuts to his son Hercules who plans to do his dad’s bidding to wreak havoc, all decked out like he is in the Marvel comics.

Hercules is played by Ted Lasso actor Brett Goldstein. You have to see it to believe it.

The post-credits scene is basically Jane Foster arriving in Valhalla and is greeted by Heimdall (Idris Elba) who previously died in Avengers: Infinity War. I doubt she’ll be coming back to the film unless it’s a cameo role in future Thor movies.

How Many Guns N’ Roses Songs Are Played In The Movie’s Soundtrack

Four. “Welcome to the Jungle”, “Paradise City”, “November Rain” second half, and “Sweet Child O’ Mine” for the credits.

This Gorr The God-Butcher Storyline Is Completely Different From The Comics, Isn’t It?

Yeah, because the comic storyline is a lot darker and wouldn’t fit with what Taika Waititi was going for; it won’t be consistent with what the actually good third Thor movie has already laid out. Besides, the MCU is its own timeline that’s different from the comics.

If you’re basically wishing for Thor: Love and Thunder to fail at the box office just because it isn’t comics-accurate, please go outside sometime and touch grass. And eat a salad.