Platforms: PC
Genre: Boxing, Retro, Sports, Parody, Spoof, Satire

Games these days tend to be more politically correct and less willing to take risks in fear of getting ‘cancelled’. However, indie developers like Vanilla Gaming Company don’t really have to worry about that, and that’s evident in their latest game, VanillaBeast Retro Knock-Out.

It’s essentially a parody of the iconic Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out game but with the R-rated humour of the Leisure Suit Larry franchise.

Punch-Out

While VanillaBeast Retro Knock-Out is a prequel to VanillaBeast Ace In The Hole, you don’t need to have played that game. VanillaBeast Retro Knock-Out follows protagonist Vanilla as he works through the boxing ranks facing off against tons of parody boxing opponents on his way to becoming the undisputed champion of the Venereousville Boxing League.

Older gamers will appreciate the retro game design and visuals, though some of it does look and feel rough. The gameplay is simple enough; just like Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out. You use the D-Pad buttons to dodge (left or right) or block (down), while on the Xbox controller, you press A for a left hook punch and B for a right hook punch.

You can get special punches by punching enemies when they give their “tell”. One punch costs one stamina point, and dodging/getting hit while blocking will also use up one stamina point. Getting hit directly will cause players to lose two whole points.

As someone who didn’t grow up playing Punch-Out, VanillaBeast Retro Knock-Out feels punishingly hard and unbalanced. Perhaps that was intentional on the developers’ part to invoke that “retro” game design feel, but players take way too much damage even when blocking, while enemies are damage sponges who can soak up so many punches before they go down.

It feels like the game is designed to force players to play using the dodge mechanic and punishes you for blocking because players take way too much damage. This means that the only viable playstyle is dodging, so players are forced to “git gud”.

Even the very first fight in the game is already hard as hell, and there are no difficulty options. One can go retro all they want in terms of gameplay and visuals, but accessibility options shouldn’t be sacrificed for that, especially in this day and age. It’s unacceptable, considering that I tend to rely on a blocking playstyle when playing boxing games, and that’s just not viable in VanillaBeast Retro Knock-Out, or at least, it very much feels that way.

As for the humour, this game is offensive and doesn’t mince words, which is a lot like the old Leisure Suit Larry games. For instance, the second enemy boxer in the game is a stereotypical Mexican who plays with rattling maracas when he knocks you out. Plus, there is also nudity during cutscenes and there are even adult film stars (or entertainment stars or p*** stars) in the game; since the main collectible in the game is cards featuring very suggestive and sexy pictures of this person.

It’s very much NSFW and not politically correct at all. That’s actually refreshing in this day and age when most games tend to play it too safe. In that way, VanillaBeast Retro Knock-Out feels a lot like a game from the 90s or early 2000s. That being said, the developer did take streamers into account, so you can play the game in a censored mode. This censored mode cuts all the nudity, which is featured in the story cutscenes and aforementioned collectible images.

One Punch

If you’re looking to relive your days of playing Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out but with an adult twist, perhaps VanillaBeast Retro Knock-Out is for you. For everyone else, the game is just too hard.

Until the developer adds easier difficulty options, it’s just a frustrating experience that no amount of R-rated jokes are able to save and only a niche minority will be able to enjoy.

PROS

• Requires skill and fast reflexes; challenging for players.
• Mature humour that’s not afraid to be raunchy and offensive.

CONS

• Too difficult (no difficulty options, perhaps to preserve retro feel).
• Very offensive, so it might not be for certain sensitive players.

FINAL SCORE: 60/100

VanillaBeast Retro Knock-Out was reviewed on PC based on a review copy provided by the publisher. It is slated to release for the PC on 14 July 2023.